Scars

I was pretty excited tonight when my husband told me that Joe Empey would be speaking to the youth tonight at the church.  Joe was one of the missionary’s in the Brussels Terrorist bombing that happened last year.  I haven’t heard his story from him yet, so was excited to go.  He only had maybe 10 min, but there was something that happened that made a huge impact on me.

Joe was telling about what happened just after the bomb went off:  being unconscious, waking up, realizing what was going and somehow being aware of exactly what it was, finding his companion, looking for others, then the pain setting in.  As he approached his companion and asked if he was okay, he asked where the sister was and if she was ok.  His companion said, “she’s burned like you.”  Joe said he then looked down at his hands and realized he was burned.  “I still have the burns and scars here on my hand,” he said, holding it up.

As “the oil lady,” my first thought was, “I need to get him some oils to help that scaring.”  And then I heard it.  “He’s going to want this scar.  I still have mine.”  My heart began to swell.  Joe will treasure this scar.  Not because he’s a boy who thinks scars are cool and a sign of manhood like my boys do.  But this one is different.  This one tells a story.  This one has deep meaning.  This one is about a miracle of a life being saved– physically and spiritually.  This one tells about how many others were “saved,” too.

Joe went on to say that in the hospital after the accident, he questioned why missionaries who were spreading love and teaching of Christ would have this happen to them.  And his answer came through a scripture he read while in the hospital.  John 16:32-33

32 Behold, the hour cometh, yea, is now come, that ye shall be scattered, every man to his own, and shall leave me alone: and yet I am not alone, because the Father is with me.

 33 These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.

 For a young man thousands of miles from home.  No family there.  In the middle of a terrorist attack, it’s no wonder that he saw the tribulation of the world, but was given powerful comfort from the Savior. So many people have been touched by this story.  Probably more missionary work from this one event than he ever anticipated.

But my mind came back to the scars.  As women we are often trying to hide the scars, the wrinkles, the battlewounds from life.  I thought of all the healing I’ve been trying to do to be whole again.  I thought of how many times I’ve asked to touch the robe or to jump in a pool of Bethesda.  I KNOW Christ and my Heavenly Father can heal EVERYTHING and make it all perfect.  So why am I not healed?

And yet Christ, who could raise from the dead, still has scars.  He could get rid of them.  He IS whole and perfect.  But He still has scars. And to those whom He has appeared, they’ve seen them with their eyes, touched them with their hands, and bathed them with their tears.  I picture this over and over in my head all the time.  That glorious day when I meet Him.  I’ll see the scars!

And I’ll know the story they tell.  The price they paid.  The pain.  The struggle.  The battle.  Wanting the cup removed. The miracle.  People saved.  God’s love felt.

Joe, those hands gave me a glimpse of God’s love tonight.  Those beautiful scarred hands– yours and His– that tell a wonderful, powerful story.  It made me long for that day.  And, He also let me know that the struggles we are going through that give us scars remind us of a great battle won, a victory gained, experience given, wisdom learned, and pure love felt.  Those scars change us.  And even though we’d like to look perfect or be whole, that little bit serves as a reminder of God’s perfect love for us and how it changed us.

“…In ME ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”  

And His hands remind me that indeed He has overcome the world.  Those scars let me know He has.

Thank you, Joe. for allowing me to take a picture of your hands to always remind me that scars are a beautiful reminder that we are not alone!

 

New Announcement of Missionaries and Stripling Warriors

As I listened to General Conference this morning and President Monson started speaking, I realized that something big was coming.  I was making chips and stopped to watch and listen and told my 12 and 14 year old that they’d better listen up—something big was coming.  For some reason, I just started crying at news of the announcement.  I immediately started texting my family that was not with me to share the news.

 

The first thing that popped into my head was that just a few days ago, my 17 year old son said, “I wish I could just go on a mission right now.”   He’s been taking missionary prep every week at the church, been reading his scriptures daily, and been reading Jesus The Christ with the Young Men on Sunday mornings.  Most mornings as I cook him breakfast, he has his scriptures and the mini Preach My Gospel book out that I recently bought him.  He’s really trying to prepare himself, knowing that he’d have a full year to wait after graduation.

 

My second thought was, “Oh MAN!  This means my one son will come home in April, then my next one could leave in June or July.   All RIGHT!!  Almost 4 full years of uninterrupted blessings!”  (It’s kind of a selfish thought.)

 

Then part of the reality set in….”Oh dear, we only have 8 months to get prepared.  I need to schedule wisdom teeth and doctor’s appointments, all the while doing school, scholarships, and Grad Night.  Whoa, this is going to be crazy.”

 

As you can tell, I didn’t hear much of the next few talks because my mind was still reeling.  I need to go back and listen to Saturday all over.

 

As the day went on, I pondered more deeply on what this means and why.   I listened to most of the press conference and thought about what they were saying about this important decision.

 

They mentioned several times the Lord needing more help and such a great work to do.  It felt urgent.  I pondered the imminent coming of the Savior and how He needs His army to step things up because the adversary is working so hard.  I thought of how so many people are needing hope and help and the joyful message of the gospel and how urgently it’s needed.

 

I thought about how many people would think that 18 year olds are too young and not prepared.  Which in some cases may be true, but in so many I see, it would be better for them to be able to leave quickly following graduation—especially for those in foreign countries who are assigned to serve in the military.

 

I thought of how this is going to change the thinking of young high school boys.  Their minds will be more conscious of serving because they know they don’t have time to mess around in high school, then try to get themselves ready to go after they graduate.  They will need to be towing the line all during high school.  They’re going to have to grow up a little more, work a little harder, clean their rooms, read their scriptures and not put off preparation for a later date.  They’ll probably be a little more self-conscious in their dating knowing that they will be leaving and need to keep themselves clean and pure and will probably be more focused on serving than having a girlfriend. =)  They may treat people more kindly, step up their reading and preparation.   All bonuses in my book.

 

I have seen some amazing young men in my life.  There are many of them that surround me every day.  They are strong.  They are obedient.  They have been prepared.  And I wondered about how these young boys will do.  Then it hit me.  These are the modern day Stripling Warriors.  If scripture were being written about our day, it would say that the Lord call these young Stripling Warriors as part of His army to carry out a great work.  One that could not be accomplished any other way.

 

How will they do it?  The same way they did in Book of Mormon times—with strength, with faith, with belief.  If their mothers have taught them well, they will believe and have faith that surpasses what we currently know.  They will be strong and brave and courageous.  They will go and do.

 

My thoughts quickly turned to the mothers.  Are they willing to give up their “boy?”  I’m wondering if the mothers will have a harder time than the boys. =)

As I did my own self-evaluation, many thoughts raced through my mind, “Can he do his own laundry?  Can he clean a bathroom?  Can he cook his own meals?  Can we have TWO Family Home Evenings a week from here to the end of the school year out of Teach My Gospel so I can feel like I have prepared him spiritually as well as physically?”  My mind was racing and I was thinking that a lot of missionary prep should have been going on years before they should leave.   Just a week or so ago my 14 year old said, “I’m the only kid my age that has to do his own laundry.”  Poor kid.  All I could think of was, “one day, you’ll thank me.”    He’s also the one that washed his own backpack.  You can read that great story here.  I think it’s better to learn it at home so they don’t have to worry about that in the field.  They can’t call home when they turn a white shirt pink or wash their backpack with all their pens and markers still in it. =) #nothatwe’vedonethat  #seeabovestory

 

On top of all that, playing the piano has been a requirement in our home.  I’ve told them that they have to take lessons until they can play the hymns and some primary songs so that when they are on their mission, they can be of service.  They’ve whined about that for years, too.  But an interesting thing happened right after the announcement.  Out of the blue, my 14 year old went to the piano and started playing hymns.  Maybe he’s sensing the urgency and need to be prepared, too.  And that’s a good thing.  Takes a load off of mom. =)

 

What I like most about this announcement is this:  The kids that are ready to go can go.  Some won’t be ready and that is okay, too.  I think they should go when THEY are ready.  I think we’ll lose a lot less boys between 18 and 19, too. Missions are hard.  They aren’t a piece of cake.  It’s long days, discouraging days, days filled with work, bike riding, people who don’t like you, having to cook and clean for yourself and just some hard stuff.  But mixed in there is something powerful.  Something life-changing.  You learn to love people in a whole new way.  You learn you can do hard things.  You learn how to take care of yourself while serving others.  You learn things you would never learn if you stayed home.  When my recent missionary was having a hard time, I told him, “If missions were easy, everyone would go.”  It really takes someone special to serve a mission.  It takes courage.  It takes bravery.  It takes hard work.  It takes discipline.  It takes a sense of humor.  It takes commitment.  It takes a Stripling Warrior.  And I believe that is what the Lord has called.

 

I look forward to seeing the great things that will come of this.  I look forward to throngs of sisters flocking to the work.  I think we may see the bigger increase in them.

 

I’ve pondered the schools and the lack of incoming freshman.  I’ve pondered the sports teams and scholarships since I have a boy who’d like to play college ball.  How will this affect those who are wanting to play sports?  There are a lot of questions and a lot of answers that will come.  But this I know.  The Lord is coming soon and He needs help.  That should be our first priority—serving Him and preparing for Him.

 

My thoughts keep turning to the Book of Mormon and reading those chapters proceeding Christ’s coming in 3rd Nephi.  I look at the state of our country right now.  You can see it in the Book of Mormon in those chapters before Christ’s coming.  We are living in those very same times.  Corruption in government, persecution of church members, having to choose between good and evil to lead us, many being deceived by an “evil king,” secret combinations, and much more.  These are the days we live in and it should be an honor for us as mother’s to prepare our sons and daughters to serve our God, to be part of an Army that is watched over by Him, to boldly and nobly raise the standard and gather the lost sheep in.

 

As a mother of 5 incredible sons and 2 beautiful and amazing daughters , it is an HONOR and a PRIVELEGE to be trusted to be given and raise these valiant young men and women who will usher in the coming of the Savior.

 

My patriarchal blessing says that I will see events transpire in the church that will be a wonder and a miracle to the people of the earth.  I have seen many.  And yet here is another.

 

I have witnessed history.  I have witnessed a miracle.  I know there are many more to come.

 

Raise the banner!  Here they come!

PS.  As I finished this note, and headed to the kitchen to cook breakfast and pondered more, there was a swelling in my heart and an awareness yet again that we are involved in something bigger.  For some reason sports, scholarships, work,  busy-ness seemed so unimportant.  I am raising sons and daughters of God first and foremost.   Raising a star ball player or world known singer or doctor or coach seemed so insignificant because I need to raise them to usher in the Savior.

 

Then I listened to Elder Holland’s talk and it was confirmed to me that I was exactly right.  I am a part of something bigger and greater than I or my children can comprehend.

I AM

 

This is a great image I posted on facebook.  I thought it ironic since I had just listened to TWO talks on this the night before.  (Sometimes I think someone is trying to get a message to me.) ;o)  Let me share these talks and what I learned from this and how powerful the words are that you are saying.

First, Dallin H. Oaks was speaking on what it means as an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ to testify of His NAME.   He talked about Moses at the burning bush.  Moses asked the Lord, “who should I tell them sent me?”  A Jewish Rabbi gave Elder Oaks some insight into this particular scripture (the Name of Christ – I AM.)  He told Elder Oaks that anciently, the name  of a person was the essence or nature of a person, not the “label” like it is today.  Moses was saying, “what are you made up of?”  What is your nature?  It was simply “The nature of God” that he was trying to find out about.  The word essence comes from the French (or Greek ?)  derivative of “essen” which means essential.  The Lord answered him by saying, “I AM.”  This Rabbi explained that anciently when they changed their “essence,” they changed their name—Abram/Abraham, Sariah/Sarah, Jacob/Israel.  If you are a witness of the name of Christ, in that sense, you are a witness of the NATURE of Christ.  When you see me, you will know me because you will become like I am.  His atonement sets us toward Him and exaltation.

I thought this interesting because I always thought Moses was wondering if it really was the Lord, but with this definition, I learned that is was quite more than that.  I also learned that when one changes their nature or disposition (the essence of who they are), then their name was changed, too.  Had me thinking about new names for those whose lives become more pure and why they changed them.  Saul became Paul after a mighty change.  Is that so good things would be associated with his new name?  When a woman marries, she takes on her husband’s last name (at least in America) and that con-notates  a change.  Interesting to think about what you have done with your current name.

As I came home that night, my good husband said he had recorded a show on PBS for me.  (Video below)  It was Wayne Dyer.  And at some point in the show, he started talking about Moses being at the burning bush and asking the Lord, “who shall I say sent me?”  The Lord answered, “My name is I AM that I AM.”

“Now every single time that you use the words, ‘I AM,’ you are citing the name of God right from the holiest books.   And every time you say the words, ‘I am weak.  I am poor.  I am  unlucky.  I am unhappy.  I am sick.  I am unable to attract into my life what you want; you are desecrating the name of God.  God did not say, ‘I will be.  My name is ‘I hope things will work out well.’  My name is ‘maybe things will show up as I wanted, but possibly not. ‘  He said, ‘I AM that I AM.’  You must be conscious of how you use these words, ‘I am.’   I am strong.  I am well.   I am content.  Even if your senses tell you something different.  I AM……You’ll see that putting the words ‘I Am’ in front of something into your mind and imagination is a very powerful way to attract into your life recognizing your own divinity.   I am God  is not blaspheme.  It is your identity.”

This brought me to tears.  Here I had first heard an Apostle of the Lord testifying of the name of Jesus Christ– The Great I AM.  Then I heard this and understood for the first time, that my own thoughts and words of self-deprecation were not just tearing down me, but were tearing down My Lord, My Savior, My Brother that I love so dearly.  How could I have done this?  How could I continually tear myself down and Him, too?  I was heart broken.  I would not hurt My Lord, but I would hurt myself.  I had never made the connection that if I was hurt, He was, too.  I vowed to watch my thoughts and language from here on out.  I found some renewed hope.

And then a bright light came into my mind.  In my lifevision, I have a whole closing paragraph that is all “I am” statements.  I began to rejoice that I had spent that time to write my lifevision and try to think of all the things  I wanted to be or believed deep down that I was, by stating all kinds of “I am” phrases, such as:  I am kind.  I am tolerant.  I am Christlike.  I am a good mother. etc etc.

The next morning as I was running and listening to my lifevision, this particular paragraph (that I wrote as a closing) actually comes up as the first one I listen to.  I set it to Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus so it would be powerful.  I was nearly in tears as I ran realizing that I was not only trying to become what I had written, but that I was glorifying God.  I listened and ran with a renewed, light, uplifted heart.  It had a whole new meaning.

I hope that after reading this, you will also think and ponder about what you say and THINK about yourself.  What words do you hear in your head?  “I am fat.  I am ugly.  I am not good enough.”  Because you ARE and your are HIS, and He paid a dear dear price for you.

Here is the Wayne Dyer video in full.  It is long, but OH SO GOOD!!  Well worth the time!

The Greatness in You…is it Invisible?

I’ve seen this video a few times now and each time I do, something in my heart stirs.  I wanted to share it to remind you that becoming who we are to become sometimes doesn’t happen in the way we think it should.  Really, it is by the small and simple things in life that we do each day.  It is to realize who we are truly serving.  Man or woman, this video really is about “becoming.”

The Invisible Woman

What is the REAL secret learned at the Bookpublishing Workshop?

I was privileged to attend Michael Drew’s Book Publishing workshop this last weekend.  The path getting there was a whole story in itself, but because of a good husband who told me I needed to do this, I ended up in SLC on a snowy weekend to hear the best in the field.

I learned a lot about building a platform, blogging, personas, trends, writing styles.  It was a great wealth of information!

What surprised me was the education I gained from the people there.  I was in awe at the stories that were trying to come out at this class, and amazed at the people there. Continue reading What is the REAL secret learned at the Bookpublishing Workshop?

To My Kids

I am reading Psalms right now.  This morning I read, “Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are the children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath a full quiver of them.”

I couldn’t help but think of my beautiful, good children.  I am so blessed.  My quiver is full and so is my heart with gratitude for them!  Thanks, kids!  I sure love you all!

My cute family at Doodle Bug's Wedding

 

Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these His little ones. … Rear your children in love, in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Take care of your little ones. Welcome them into your homes, and nurture and love them with all of your hearts. They may do, in the years that come, some things you would not want them to do, but be patient, be patient. You have not failed as long as you have tried” (“Words of the Living Prophet,” Liahona, May 1998, 26–27; “Excerpts from Recent Addresses of President Gordon B. Hinckley,” Ensign, July 1997, 73).

Dictating the outcome of your life through journaling

ist2_5271763-old-book-and-penI have to admit that I get in great resistance to journaling.   I love having my thoughts saved, but dread taking the time to do it.   A few years ago, I started a “Webster Weekly” where I wrote down what was going on in the family.  I liked it.   I like it even more now when I go back and read all the funny things my kids did.   So I suppose that I am not in too much resistance to it, but really struggle to sit down and write.   Probably because I want to write a lot and don’t feel I have much time.

When blogs came out, it made it an easier transition for me to take my Webster Weekly to my blog AND I could add pictures.  Still I struggle/d with consistency. Continue reading Dictating the outcome of your life through journaling

All About Becoming

The last few years have been an incredible journey of personal discovery for me.   Dealing with difficult circumstances brought me to my knees all the time and softened my heart to be directed to improve my life.

I have found that I am very hard on myself.  I expect a lot out of myself.  I guess I have always known that deep down within me was a good person who had a lot of good to share.  Yet I would make mistakes or say stupid things, then get depressed and discouraged.  I never felt as if I were “doing my best” because I always felt like I knew better and could do better.

Finally I was lead to the person (Leslie Householder) and books and information (thoughts alive.com) I needed to set my path on thinking correctly and getting my life in order.  I realized that each of us has a soul purpose, has a divine nature and goal to fulfill– something to become.  When I discovered this, my life began to change drastically.  I had finally found a way to do better and become the person God, my Heavenly Father, meant for me to become.

Along the way, I have had so many wonderful lessons, have seen so many miracles, have experienced so many tests, and have had my “eyes & ears,” my heart & mind, opened to receive and understand inspiration.  I have immersed myself into the scriptures, have poured my heart out in prayer and have received inumerable great blessings.

Not knowing how to share them, I just jotted notes here and there– in a notebook, in my scriptures, in my computer, over the phone. ;o)  A few weeks ago, my daughters were reading a friends blog.  This was the mother of their best friends.  On her blog, she would post insights and experiences and my daughters were so touched by them.  They said, “Mom, why aren’t you doing this?  You should be writing the things you are learning down and sharing them with us kids.”  I was in shock!  My first thought was “You mean you’d really listen to me?  You WANT me to write all this stuff down?”  Truthfully, the greatest wish I have had over this growing time is that I can share it with my family.  I want them to experience all the joy I have, and yet, I knew I could not force it.  And now, here they were ASKING me to share!  That’s kind of like asking a monkey if he’d like a banana.

So with the help of my dear friend in setting up this blog(digital marketing diva), I am now underway and very excited to share my experiences and insights with you– my children, my friends, and my family.

It is my hope and prayer to uplift and inspire you to become who the Lord truly knows you are to become.

Please feel free to comment and share your insights.  We all need to grow and learn from each other!