Granddaughter’s Day at the Dentist

I received a call the other day from my daughter.  The conversation went something like this:

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“You need to talk to your granddaughter!  We’re at the dentist and she’s pitching a fit and I need you to calm her down.”

“Ok….”  I said, chuckling to myself.

“I’m liking this role…”  I think in my mind.

Princess P gets on the phone….

“Hey sweetie!!  How are you?  Are you having a great day?”  I ask.

I heard some low grumbles on the other end.

“Have you been playing with your baby dolls?…..”

“My mom’s in TROUBLE!”

“You’re mom’s in trouble?  How come?”  (I’m trying not to laugh too hard.)

“She’s fighting me!!””

I start cracking up and my daughter says, “we have to go.  They’re here.”

Still laughing over that conversation.

 

 

One Shoe, Two Shoe, Orange Shoe, Blue Shoe

Yep, me and Dr. Suess…we’ve got it figured out!!

I’m confessing here….knowing that this could cause great embarrassment on my part, but I’m willing to share this little piece of my funny day.

I was getting ready for work.  I decided to wear my fushia pink shirt with my sky blue scarf (like the one I was wearing in my family picture).  I grabbed big blue hoop earrings that matched my scarf and went to grab my shoes.  By shoes, I mean flip flops.  I have about one of every color of flip flops.  They are the shoes I love to wear all the time.  Easy on, easy off.  Not constricting.  Variety of colors, etc etc.   So this particular morning, I decided to wear my blue flip flops that matched my outfit.   They are stacked in my closet like so:

As you can see, they are kind of tucked under my shirts.  So I bent down to find the blue ones, slid my right foot in and then, while putting my earrings in (you can all relate to this, right, girls?) I slid my left foot in the other shoe.

I grabbed all my stuff and raced off to work.

I had been at work for about an hour or so when I needed to get up and grab some copies off the copy machine.  I usually slide my feet in and out of my shoes while sitting down, so I looked under the desk to slide my feet in and to my wonder and astonishment, there sat one ORANGE and one BLUE flip flop.

Stunned at my fashion ability, I hollered, “OH….MY….. GOSH!!”  Then I started laughing and wondering how in the heck I could manage to go for about 2 hours never looking down at my feet and noticing what I had done BEFORE I left the house.

In utter amazement and still cracking up at myself.  I slipped my shoes on and walked in to my husband’s office and stood there.  He looked at me and I pointed at my feet which looked about like this:

He put his head in his hands and shook it back and forth, rolling his eyes, and said, “Well I guess it’s a good thing you can laugh at yourself!”

“Well, It’s hysterical!”  I said.  I mean, if you don’t laugh about it, then what do you do?  Sit and pout and cry and be embarrassed?  Really, who will know?  Unless you post it on facebook and your blog, right? ;o)

Well, I went back about my business, still giggling and yes, I posted a note on facebook and then adjusted my schedule to NOT stop at the grocery store on the way home, cuz THAT would be embarrassing!

While I was sitting at my desk, our good friend Danny P came in.  He is  a super nice guy!  The first thing he said to me was, “Hey, those are nice earrings!  I like those!”  I was laughing because they are HUGE blue things that my hubby hates because they

A:  have color

B: are big

C:  someone may “notice” them.

[Insert information here:  MP (my hubby) does not like color.  Ok, he likes color, he just doesn’t like to WEAR color.  He’s a blue/gray/brown plain, simple, not-standout-ish kind of a guy and is embarrassed when I wear any colors (especially bright ones) because it will make you stand out and people will look at you.  I’m ok with wearing color now that I’ve been studying Dressing Your Truth and now I know that I like to wear color and it’s okay and he doesn’t like to wear color and it’s okay.  I’m at peace.  He still struggles. ;o)]

So, when Danny noticed my earrings, I was kind of chuckling that I would get a compliment on them–especially when I couldn’t even get my shoes to match.  MP was  walking up to the desk as he heard the compliment and said, “If you like her earrings, you should see her shoes!”   Yes, he ratted me out.  Laughing, I showed Danny my shoes and he said, “Hey’ I’ve done that before!!  I ‘ve worn two different Sunday shoes to church!”  We got a good laugh at that.  Only because, yes, I’ve done that before, too,– only they were both white and both pumps and you could only tell by a slight color variation.  But Orange and Blue are a whole different story.

It got slightly funnier (I know that ‘s not a real word, but it works for me), when another man came in a bit later when MP was gone.  He said, “I really like those colors together!  That blue and pink are a great combination!  When I was playing softball and was in charge of the uniforms , I ordered a red with that sky blue color.  Everyone thought it was going to look ugly, but they were sharp looking!  Oh, and I like the way your makeup matches your outfit!”

Now it was really funny.  First of all, when do guys even notice color, let alone makeup?  I thanked him and told him he was the most observant man I knew and that someone raised him well.  He said it was his mom. ;o)  I couldn’t help but think how great it would have been if MP had been here to hear that compliment.  It was still funny because while I was receiving the compliemnt, I couldn’t help but think that  my shoes weren’t matching.

It still cracks me up.

And yes, I do like to match my makeup colors to my outfit colors.  It’s one of  my quirks….kind of like flip flops.

You will be glad to know that I have looked down at my feet EVERY time I have left the house since that day.  I match now.  And I am at peace with color.

Grocery Store Saga– guns and jerky

Can any of you actually stand to read another round of “As the Webster’s Turn?”  Some days I think I am on this merry-go-round that won’t quit and I just want to yell, “STOP THE WORLD!  I NEED TO GET OFF!”   Maybe if I hollered “OR I’M GOING TO PUKE!”  someone would listen…..but here I still sit with 5 – six foot tall  mounds of laundry, and the only thing that loves me enough to cling to me is cellulite and a three year old!  And since I am so full of “love” (read—cellulite) right now my mid-life crisis body and I would like to share our week with you!

Monday—I can hear all of you saying right now “cleaned the house.”  And you are right!!!  However, I did go to the grocery store, too.  My record is getting better, too!  I almost got OUT of the store with out the two littles causing a major ruckus.  I was in the check out line!!!  Almost out of the store!!!  BJ Dude was being good and helping me unload the food.  He was holding jerky in his hand that was his “treat” for being good in the store.  Cinco’s treat had already gone through and he started to panic that BJ Dude wasn’t going to put his jerky on the belt, so he grabbed the jerky out of BJ Dude’s hand to put in on the counter when BJ Dude all but tackled him and choked him to get it back.  So Cinco took the $1 plastic machine gun that was his “treat” and whacked BJ Dude over the head with it—all the while screaming at each other.

Fortunately, only two or three checkers, two or three baggers, and the people behind me in the checkout line noticed and commented on the event—that was after their oooh’s and ooooo’s and oowww’s.

This particular moment is the double-edged sword of motherdom!    You don’t know if you’re with the “that kid needs a good spanking” group or the “if she lays a hand on that kid I’m calling Social Services” group.

It’s at those precious moments that you feel like there’s a big neon light over your head with an arrow pointing down at you flashing in hot pink neon “BAD MOM!”

Resisting the urge to jerk them both up by the seat of their pants and kick their little butts through the door for embarrassing me like that, I grabbed Cinco firmly by the arm and with that clenched teeth smile “whispered” something to the effect that he was a dead man when we got home.  I tried to rub BJ Dude’s head and get that stupid jerky scanned and run out of the store.  I kept waiting for the announcement over the intercom “Code Black and Blue on checkout 5!”   Of course, the bagger was an older man who was so kind to help me all the way to the car. (The young kids never want to help.)  He did offer some kind of words but I was caught between sheer anger and embarrassment.

I ranted and raved all the way home in the car.  Trying to explain to a three year old how much trouble he’s in is not very effective, in case any of you were wondering.  By the time I got home and was going to throw Cinco’s fanny in his room.  He kept saying, “but I told BJ Dude I was sorry.”  (Which he actually did while I was ranting in the car)  And, of course, BJ Dude had accepted the apology.  These two had resolved the problem before I entered the driveway.

Which is the second problem of motherdom—do you throw them in their room or melt like a popsicle because they were so nice to each other for 5 minutes?  There are just no books on these kinds of scenarios.  I think I still made Cinco have a little room time, but it’s true, I’m a marshmallow.  Plus I had all those groceries to unload.  Written 1/18/04

Laundry and kittens– what happens when Mom and Dad are Gone

And now for the famous “Only at the Webster’s…..”   (crazy things that I’m sure only happen here and no where else!)

 

MP and I came home from a wedding reception this particular Saturday night.  As we came in, Blondie came running up to us and said, “it was an accident, I promise!  Scout put his pants in the dryer and turned it on.  He came back in a few minutes later and heard the kitty crying.  She was in the dryer.  She is okay.  I promise, he didn’t know she was in there!”

 

 Kitten in the Tumble Dryer

Now really, does this kind of stuff EVER happen anywhere else?  We did feel sorry for the kitty when we adopted her, but we thought we were improving at our house!  This is definitely a good place for “Survivor” to be filmed!  Either that or another “Griswold family movie!”    Yep—no fire this week, but we did survive the dryer!  And I might add that she is nice and fluffy.  Poor kitty—Doodle Bug traumatized her earlier by giving her a bath.  Guess we should have thought of the dryer after her bath—just kidding!  Life is just one adventure after another, huh????  Written 1/11/04

Thankful 2011

As I approach the end of each year and begin to look back on all that has happened during the year, I become so grateful for all I have been given.  I have found it theraputic for me to go back through the years worth of pictures and pick out those that summarize the year we’ve had.  I thought I share with you the wonderful year we have had with all our joys and sorrows.

Truly, I have so much to be thankful for!!  I hope you enjoy this peek into our family!

Pictures with Toddlers– It doesn’t get anymore fun than that!

I think I mentioned before the exciting time we had trying to get Cinco to take his picture…..he turned around and covered his face and told us “no” and wouldn’t smile, so we took a picture of him trying not to smile-semi grouchy face. Well, the pictures came back this week.  And it looks just like him–trying not to smile.

The kids hand him the packet and he gets sooo excited,

“OOOHHHH, look!  It’s Cinco!!!”

Then he starts pulling the pictures out and realizes that there’s more pictures.

“OOHH!  Mom!  It’s a HUNDRED Cinco’s……”

(then he pulls out the little wallet ones)….he gets really excited and says, “SIX HUNDRED Cinco’s!!”

Boy was he thrilled!  The whole time I’m thinking, “yeah, you little stinker!  NOW you like it!”  Isn’t that just the way it is…….. Gotta love pictures with toddlers!!  Written 10/5/03

 

 

 

Mom Moments– gashes and throw up

bandaid2

Cinco wasn’t feeling too great, but wanted to go to the grocery store with me, so I took Mykelle along to help.  BJ Dude came too.  Just after we got in the store, BJ Dude was kind of running back and forth by my cart, and it looked like he was kind of annoying a lady close by.  I told him to stop goofing off, then turned to grab some lettuce.  I heard a ‘bonk’ and BJ Dude had grabbed his forehead crying.  I told him that it served him right and let him think for a minute or two.  Two aisles later, he took his hand off his head and he had blood down his hands and arm and had wiped it in his eye!  He had a little cut on his forehead.  It was deep enough for stitches, but only wide enough for a couple (about the width of one of the little metal things on the grocery carts).  Doodle Bug took him to the bathroom to clean him off, then we put a bandaid on it.  I bought some butterflies and fixed it.

 

We came home from the store, put groceries away, then headed to Shotgun’s football game.  Cinco still didn’t feel great, but played on the playground anyway.  After Shotugn’s game (they won– he scored one touchdown), we piled in the car and stopped at Sonic for a burger on our way to the girls games.  We waited forever (15 minutes) for our food.  Just after she brought it to us, Cinco threw up in the car.

Just another day in the life of a mother.  Written 10/25/03

What happens in Vegas…..

So last night BJ Dude called and wanted to go to Antigravity with his friends.  (Antigravitiy is a huge trampoline jumping place in town.)  MP was giving him all the correct parent counsel:

“Now be good.  Be safe.  Don’t get into any trouble…..”

BJ Dude cut in and said, “Dad, we’re going to Antigravity, not VEGAS!”

hahaha…..

And THANK HEAVENS for that!!!  Love that kid!!

vegas strip

Best Definition of a Brain Freeze

 

brain freeze

The other day, I got Cinco a Frosty at Wendy’s.  A few minutes later, he is groaning and smacking his head.  Then he asks me what I think a brain freeze feels like.  I couldn’t come up with a quick definition.  Cinco quickly interrupts my thought process by saying, “I HATE brain freezes!  It feels like there are little guys in my head trying to punch my eyeball out.”

And there you have it!!  The best definition for a brain freeze that I’ve heard yet!