Category: Malapropisms

“I do not think it means what you think it means.”  Ever have someone say a word that was NOT the right word?  Those are malapropisms and I have a few masters of them at my house.  You’ll get a chuckle out of these funny stories!

Going Asian at Wendy’s

Mr Perfect and I were headed to Salt Lake City this last weekend for a Leadership Convention.  We made a pit stop in Beaver on the way up and decided to run into Wendy’s to grab a bite to eat since it was near dinner time.

I was pondering the menu since I am on the “no more sugar, no more white flour, no more happiness candida cleanse” when Mr. Perfect asked me what I thought was on the new Asia GO Sandwich.  Curious as to what new Asian item was on the menu that I overlooked, I quickly scanned the board trying to find what he was looking at.  Then I saw this:

Asiago-Ranch-Chicken-Club-Wendys

 

I’m still laughing over this.  Asiago pronounced ah-see-ah-go, as in CHEESE.   Or Asia Go…. whatever you prefer.  He would have bought it but “I couldn’t pronounce it.”

There are no words.  Keepin’ real over here.

Bar O Q and Burr Oak

 

I ordered French doors for the office when we started building.  Long story short, the guy got mad at us and sold them, so Mr. Perfect and I are having to order new doors.  I was looking at one with a seedy Baroque glass.  It’s kind of an old fashioned looking glass, a French word pronounced  “Burr Oak”.  Well, Mr. Perfect called to order the door.  When he came home he told me, “I told the guy that my wife wanted the seedy BAR O Q glass.”  That’s right—BAR O Q, three syllables and as red neck as you can make it sound.   I explained to Mr. Perfect the correct pronunciation.  We figure the guy is still laughing about that.  Of course, now we have to call them the BAR O Q glass doors, too!  Even Doodle Bug knew the right pronunciation.  BJ Dude probably does, too ;o). 1/9/06

Bee, Bet, Bay… How do YOU say it?

At Costco, Doodle Bug had her dad buy these really good sorbet’s (pronounced Sore Bay).  They are actual halves of fruit– coconut, pineapple, lemon, orange, that are filled with the sorbet, or sherbet-type stuff, and frozen.  Yesterday, MP said that he was going to have a Sorbee.  When we started laughing, he said, “Okay a Sore Bet.”  Finally Doodle Bug told him that they were “Sore Bay’s”.  But from now on you can have all the Sorbee’s or SoreBET’s you want!  11/7/05

PS. They are SUPER YUMMY!!!

 

 

Sapphires & Rootbeer

 

At the ball game the other night, Paul, my Mom, and I were talking about the fruit stand opening up.  Mom said that Grandma was cussing Grandpa for having all that pop in the cooler and they should have watermelon, etc, etc.  Paul said, “yeah.  They do pretty good selling the sapphire root beer.”  Mom kind of paused.  I said “SAPPHIRE?”  Mom looked at me with a quizzing look.  Since I am now fluent in Maloprop-eze, I said to mom, “let me translate for you–SASPARILLA!”  Mom was cracking up!!! 5/30/05

Sioux_City_Sarsaparilla

 

Salons and Saloons– The Cowboy Way!

At Paul’s Webelo camp, they did knots at one of the rotations.  Since then he has been showing us all kind of knots with a renewed interest and excitement(to him not necessarily to us!)  He was showing the clove hitch to Blondie and Scout and while flinging the rope over the tennis racket handle said, “This is how the cowboys hitched their horse up while they went into the SALON!…….uh……I mean SALOON.”

 

You know those cowboys– always had a concern for their hair!  5/2/05

saloon

 

Cheese & Spice

We were outside the other night talking with our neighbor.  She and I were talking about cheese and she said that she didn’t like Monterey Jack cheese very well.  Paul pipes up and says, “Yeah, I like seasoned salt better, too!”  We all look at him kind of funny and Doodle Bug says, “Dad, what are you talking about?  We’re talking about CHEESE here!”

 

“Oh,” he says, “I thought you were talking about the Monterey seasoning or what is it??….”

 

Doodle Bug corrected, “That’s MONTREAL steak seasoning!”      Monterey, Montreal– they’re all just cities anyway! 11/7/04