Denise – Page 6 – All About Becoming

The Difference Between Faith & Belief

My son posed an interesting question to us last night in Family Home Evening.He said that they had asked them in seminary what the difference was between Faith and Belief. (As a side note, he said he was the only one who answered the question, so that made me kind of proud that he had thought this through so well.)

So he asked us the question….What is the difference between faith and belief? And an interesting discussion started. I think this struck me because I have been documenting so many concepts from the scriptures as they pertain to Universal Law. One of the main ones I have documented is Ask, Believe, Receive. Between the Bible and LDS scripture, I have documented over 106 scriptures listed on this alone.

One of the greatest lessons I learned was about belief. Several of these scriptures say, “Ask, BELIEVING THAT YE WILL RECEIVE.” I guess this hit me so hard because I have spent the majority of my life praying and asking, but never BELIEVING I would receive what I was asking for. I thought that it was up to the Lord to determine if I was worthy enough, had done enough, if I deserved it, or if it was okay for me to have what I was asking for. I never realized the responsibility was on ME to believe I was going to get it, not to test the LORD to see if it was ok with Him to bless me with.

In James 1:9, it says, “be not a double minded man.” Well, that’s EXACTLY what I was doing– being double-minded. I was asking for what I wanted, but not believing I would get it. How can you give someone something if they don’t know what they want?

So when my son posed this question, I thought I understood BELIEF enough to answer this. But I was still stumped.

Have you figured it out yet? What is the difference?

Really, it seems that faith and belief are the same thing. Faith is BELIEVING in that which is not seen, but is true. So faith involves belief, but it is something just a little more. What is it? What is the difference?

ACTION. Those who have true faith will take the step past belief to take action on what they believe or have faith in. This is a powerful concept.

My son gave the example to us of Joshua trying to take the Children of Israel across the River Jordan and into the promised land. They had to cross this river, but how? It says in Joshua Chapter 3 that the banks were overflowing at this time of year. I assume the waters were very deep. But Joshua was told that if the priests bearing the Ark of the Covenant would just step into the water, they would part, just like they had at the Red Sea. There was an action that they had to take. They had to step into the water. That could have been scary as deep and wide as the water could have been, but because they BELIEVED and took ACTION, a miracle occurred.

I have a quote in my scriptures that says, “A miracle is not the suspension of a natural law, but the operation of a higher law.”

There are many scriptures which talk about miracles and most of them say that faith has to be present in order for miracles to occur. And when you read about miracles ceasing to exist, it is because the people lacked faith– that is a BELIEF plus ACTION.

Here is a scripture from the Book of Mormon that clearly defines this:
Ether 12:12

12 For if there be no faith among the children of men God can do no miracle among them

Another great scripture popped into my mind. Remember when Moses was leading the Children of Israel through the wilderness and they were being bit by poisonous serpents. Mostes was told to have them look to the serpent on his staff and they would live. All they had to do was LOOK– take ACTION. Yet many did not because they did not believe. To us it seems so crazy! Why would they just not LOOK??!! Yet, do we find the same thing in our day where people just don’t believe or have faith, so they just turn away?

Here is a great summary of that from the Book of Mormon:

2 Nephi 25:20

20 And now, my brethren, I have spoken plainly that ye cannot err. And as the Lord God liveth that brought Israel up out of the land of Egypt, and gave unto Moses power that he should heal the nations after they had been bitten by the poisonous serpents, if they would cast their eyes unto the serpent which he did raise up before them, and also gave him power that he should smite the rock and the water should come forth; yea, behold I say unto you, that as these things are true, and as the Lord God liveth, there is none other name given under heaven save it be this Jesus Christ, of which I have spoken, whereby man can be saved.

Those who took action were saved. They received a miracle. I thought it interesting that in the story of Adam and Eve, the Serpent represents Satan. It made me wonder….Is the “poisonous bite” of the serpent (Satan) that is striking at our heels trying to get us to sin “killing us” spiritually? If so, we need only to look to the Savior and live. We need to take action. We need to Look to Him! Many people SAY they believe in Jesus, but their words and actions don’t show that. We need to take ACTION and live like Him– keep His commandments, that is action! When we have faith in Christ in healing our souls or creating the miracles that we need, we can take ACTION– complete faith– and BELIEVE that He WANTS to send a miracle our way. It just takes faith!

Helaman 8:15

15 And as many as should look upon that serpent should live, even so as many as should look upon the Son of God with faith, having a contrite spirit, might live, even unto that life which is eternal.

My mind has been reeling with all kinds of thoughts on this. So, I will be posting a little more. =)

Ham Roll Ups

I love ham roll ups. They are easy to make and have great flavor. That is a good combination for me. Here’s the cast of characters:

The first thing you are going to do is make the stuffing according to the package directions.

Melt the butter in the water.

Add the stuffing.

Put on the lid and let it steam.

Then take your ham and put the swiss cheese slices on top. You can use any kind of deli ham for this. You can see I have a couple of different varieties here.

Put a heaping tablespoon of stuffing in the center.

Then roll them up and secure them with a toothpick. *Side note here: If you make these earlier in the day, you can stack them on a plate and cover them with saran wrap and keep them in the fridge until you are ready for dinner. If you do that, they “set up” so that you can really take the toothpick out of them, which is kind of nice. If you are cooking them immediately, keep the toothpick in so they don’t unravel. (Evidently I did not put toothpicks in these– could have been out, or just trying to see if it would work with out them. I test rules like that.) ;o)

When you have them all rolled, put your breadcrumbs on a plate.

Then make your egg wash with egg and milk.

Dip the ham rolls in the egg,

and then into the bread crumbs.

And here’s why you use the toothpicks. Don’t be a rebel like me! ;o)

Melt your butter in a pan (I do prefer real butter to the other stuff you saw in the picture.)

and place the ham roll ups seam side down in the pan. This seals them and keeps them from popping open.

Load your pan up. Then turn them after a few minutes, browning them on all sides. It does not take too long for them to brown up and the cheese to melt.

YUMMY! These don’t look quite as good as some of my others. But they still taste great!! If you’re one of those picture perfect cookers, this is a great little meal idea to use when you have to take dinner into someone.

Write The Vision–You, Me, and Habakkuk

I’ve been writing a lot recently about vision, goals, writing, and lifevision. I suppose it is because while I was doing my Lifevision certification, I read these different scriptures in my reading each morning and Lifevision was forefront on my radar.

Lifevision is a powerful tool in changing subconscious thinking and super charging your goals, giving you true clarity and focus.

Imagine how excited I was to come across this scripture in Habakkuk.

Habakkuk 2:2-3

2 And the Lord answered me, and said, Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables, that he may run that readeth it.

3 For the vision is yet for an appointed time, but at the end it shall speak, and not lie: though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Let me break this down so you can see why I was so excited.

Write the vision and make it plain…

One of the biggest reasons for having a coach while writing your lifevision statement is to get clear on what your want or “make it plain.” Wording is very important so that your subconscious mind will absorb and take in what you have written.

…”that he may run that readeth it….”

It is interesting because when coaching others in writing lifevision, they can have a statemtn written that they REALLY want to accomplish, but if it isn’t written to resonate and feel comfortable, then you will resist it subconsciously. When it is written correctly, you truly feel like running! You are excited and invigorated and truly ready to RUN!

For the vision is yet for an appointed time,

Most goals we have will have a time for completion or a target date set for them.

but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:

The results we get/see are what speak and not lie. Aren’t actions really truth? ;o)

though it tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not tarry.

Sometimes we have to be patient in waiting for our goals. Some have a gestation time. (check out the Universal Laws for more on that.) But results DO come. We reap the fruits of what we so (Another universal Law here– Cause & Effect/Law of the Harvest). We either get what we want or we don’t. Both are results and both are fruits of our labors.

When you write your lifevision and record it in your own words and set it to the correct music, you have a much better chance of reaping the fruits of what you truly want because you are changing subconscious on a deep level. It works.

I’d love to be your Lifevision Coach. Read about Lifevision HERE:

Boys, Moms & Graffiti– A Story of Love

Right after our laughing fit about the Juvi Christmas Jammies, my cousin went on to tell me why this comment from Pete was more funny than we thought. She started telling us about him “tagging” the shed by the middle school while his dad was coaching his brother at football practice. We were cracking up listening to the story and I told her that she really needed to document this one. So the other day she did. It turned out to be much more tender than funny as I read through it. I asked her for permission to share it on my blog, because this is really what being a “good parent” is all about– taking the bad times with the good and knowing how to teach your children right from wrong, even when it is ripping you up inside.

I know. I’ve walked through the valley of Hell with a child of my own. But these are the moments that we truly teach our children how to step up and take responsibility for their life, to not blame things on others, and to just do the right thing even though it is hard.

I know you’ll love this story. Here’s my cousin’s post:

Not Our Finest Moment

Sometimes I get a tired of looking at blog’s and seeing all the perfect things that are going on in other people’s lives, perfect trips, perfect parties, perfect Halloween costumes, perfect Christmas, perfect perfect, perfect…. Usually that is how my blog looks, I don’t really want to remember the poop all over my floor from a sick child, or the not so perfect report card, or that my child isn’t the best at sharing. I could go on and on here… I like the rest of the blog-world sugar coat our lives. It could appear that our family runs very smooth, we do have a few deaths once in a while but other than that, we go from one party to the next sporting event all singing and laughing as we go. Ha! 😉 Well I think it’s time to get real, our lives are NOT like that, we have our struggles along with all the fun stuff. This day back in September was not our finest moment!Pete will kill me if he knew I put this on here, so if by chance you see him, DO NOT bring this up! He feels super bad about the whole deal but for the sake of our family history it’s gotta be here. So if you are reading this, I trust you not to tell him. :)One morning in September while I was driving the boys to school Pete asked me “Mom what happens if you spray paint on a building?

I said “Well that is Graffiti and you could go to Juvenile Detention or Jail?”

He looks at me with big eyes and says “Really??”

I say “Yes, that is defacing someones property and it is a crime? Why are you asking me this?”

“Well… last night while I was at L’s practice, I found a can of spray paint and put a little bit on the shed behind the Middle School?” He replies.

Thinking it was just a line or a dot or something, I said “Well you have to go to school right now, and I am sure it isn’t a lot, we will have to go over after school and see it.”

Pete got out of the car reluctantly and walked to class. After school we drove down to the middle school. On the way Pete asked “Mom if I go to “Juvi” (he calls Juvenile Detention, “Juvi.” His Grandma works at the court and he has picked up on few things! ;)) will you bail me out?”

I told him “In this family we will never bail you out of your problem, you have to pay the consequence to your action.”

He looked at me and said with a quiver “Will you come visit me everyday??”I was dying, he was really nervous, and I wasn’t. I didn’t think he would really draw all over a building with spray paint. I was expecting a little dot, or something we could scrub off rather quickly. When we pulled up this is what I saw….

I about lost it. This wasn’t a little line or just a little bit of spray paint. This was a work of art!! An SC with the Warrior Head and then the word Warriors was started, but then I am sure he got distracted. We had to go into the school and let the Vice Principal know, this part was really hard. Pete was crying so hard, and because he was I started tearing up too. We talked to him for awhile, he let Pete know that the cops at the school had already seen it, and talked about it. He told him if he was older and knew what he was doing he could be in a lot of trouble. At this point Pete was sobbing. I felt so bad for him. We told the VP Pete would clean it up, but he said the custodian had a chemical that would take it off and not to worry. Pete left there feeling relieved, he thought a week of being grounded was a lot better than spending a few nights in Juvenile Detention. It turned out to be a good learning experience for all of us. He now knows if he finds spray paint, let me know and I’ll get him some paper or something to paint on, he won’t be using a building as his canvas anytime soon!

I’m not sure I read the fine print when I decided to become a Mother, I thought it was all about changing their clothes and going to the park. Being a parent is HARD, I learned that this day. I also learned that I can’t bail my kids out of their problems, but I will be right by their side walking through the fire with them. I love my kids so much and hope I can teach them right from wrong even if that mean learning a few things the hard way.

Journals, goals, and Lifevisions

A year or so ago, I had a powerful aha about writing, journaling and goals. I was reading in the scriptures in Revelation 20:12 where it says, “And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.”

I was struck by the phrase “judged out of those things which were written in the books.” I began wondering if my journaling and the things I am writing down are those things that I will truly be judged by. I thought, that if that was the case, I was going to write some GOOD STUFF!! Of course, the remainder of the sentence says that judgment will also come from our works. I believe that both of these are true.

As a teacher and life coach, I understand on a huge level the subconscious mind and how it works. I also remember when I started Leslie Householder’s Family Time and Money Freedom home study course. The first thing we were told was that we were to keep a journal and that there were rules to this journal. The rules were that we had to keep things as positive as possible. If we were having a struggle that we were documenting, then we had to make sure that at the end, we showed the upside or resolution to our problem. The reason for this is really in the basic law of attraction—you get what you think about and ask for and when you put something on paper, it commits you on a deeper level to “getting what you want.” This is why the guru’s out there always tell you that you HAVE to WRITE your goals down. What you write down, comes to pass.

So if you are journaling and writing the “book of your life,” wouldn’t you want it to be a GOOD, uplifting book? And if you know that what you write down leads to actions or “works,” then you really should be writing good things down and taking a positive spin.

If you’ve written it down, and your works follow suit, then your judgment will be a sweet occasion. I liked that. I thought, “Man, I’m gonna write some GOOD THINGS down! I’m going to have a great life to be judged by!” And the truth is that most of us journal what has already happened—we are writing down what “works” we have already done. So document all the good stuff you ARE doing and the good stuff you WANT to do. I think it will have some great eternal consequences, based on this scripture.

When I learned about Lifevision, I realized how much more powerful this scripture is. We truly can create the life we vision—the life we dream about! For more info on Lifevision, you can click HERE.

I did come across some other scriptures that back this one up. They are found in the LDS Scriptures of the Book of Mormon and also in the Doctrine and Covenants. For those interested in more validation, they are listed below:

2 Nephi 29:11

For I command all men, both in the east and in the west, and in the north, and in the south, and in the islands of the sea, that they shall write the words which I speak unto them; for out of the books which shall be written I will judge the world, every man according to their works, according to that which is written.

· 3 Nephi 27:25

For behold, out of the books which have been written, and which shall be written, shall this people be judged, for by them shall their works be known unto men.

· Doctrine and Covenants 128:6

And further, I want you to remember that John the Revelator was contemplating this very subject in relation to the dead, when he declared, as you will find recorded in Revelation 20:12—And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened; and another book was opened, which is the book of life; and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

· Doctrine and Covenants 128:7

You will discover in this quotation that the books were opened; and another book was opened, which was the book of life; but the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works; consequently, the books spoken of must be the books which contained the record of their works, and refer to the records which are kept on the earth. And the book which was the book of life is the record which is kept in heaven; the principle agreeing precisely with the doctrine which is commanded you in the revelation contained in the letter which I wrote to you previous to my leaving my place—that in all your recordings it may be recorded in heaven.

Interesting here that Joseph Smith is actually quoting the scripture from the Book of Revelation as he explains this.

Best Christmas Jammies Story Ever

Like many of you, we have a tradition of opening matching jammies on Christmas Eve. We try to match the adults and kids as close as possible, but some years it’s harder to do. This last Christmas, my mom and sister found some cute Christmas stripped pajamas for the little kids. We thought they looked darling!

This is a picture of my granddaughters and my sisters three boys. (It’s really hard to get a picture of them all sitting still.)

Christmas morning, as I came into Grandma F’s house, my cousin was just laughing. I guess the little boys above came in and her 7 year old son, “Pete”, said,

“Where’ve you guys been? JUVI?”

[Juvi is short for Juvenile Detention.]

We could not stop laughing.

I hadn’t thought that these cute Christmas Candy Cane pajamas looked like jail attire, but alas, a 7 year old taught me different.

Now many of you may be wondering how a 7 year old knows about Juvenile Detention. It is because his grandmother works at the Juvenile Court, so he’s familiar with the stories and terms. Still funny coming from a little guy!

Is this what Santa puts his elves in that are in trouble? ;o)

For more insight into Pete’s knowledge of Juvi, I suggest you read this great story by his mom which I have posted HERE.

Got Vision?

I have been thinking about having vision (or a dream or a goal) again. I wrote recently about bucket lists and the gal who said that she didn’t dream of “bucket lists” because they had to no money, so there was no reason to think about it. I woke up this morning and had this thought pop into my head, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” Prov 29:18

Isn’t that interesting to think about. When we have no vision or goal, we perish. It’s true and part of what I was trying to describe in the “bucket list” post. Without a goal or direction, we lose hope and become depressed. We don’t look forward. We go through motions, but for what? We must have something to keep us moving forward. If we didn’t want to reach the peak and see the vistas and majesty of beauty, we would never climb the mountain. And climbing the mountain isn’t easy, but getting to the top and reaching the goal is indescribable. If we set our goals low and decide that we can’t go to the top of the mountain, but only part way up, we will never feel the “high” of accomplishment and we will never know the grandeur of the view from the top. How many people do you know that have no vision or dream or goal? Are they perishing? Are they going through the motions? Do they feel hopeless and in despair?

An interesting side note to this that popped into my mind along with the scripture is this: The prophets were considered “visionaries” as well. They would receive visions of what their people should do and also of things to come. When the prophets were rejected and considered “crazy,” the people would not listen and obey and then they would perish. How many times did the children of Israel become captive and taken away or put into bondage? This usually came about because they quit listening to the prophet. They took their sites off Christ.

Did you catch that? They took their sites off Christ. They weren’t looking to Him anymore. They weren’t living the commandments. Their goals and focus were on idols and money and power. They didn’t listen to the prophets. (Listening to the prophet is looking to Christ because they are His mouthpiece.) I have pondered this in my own life. When I just go about wanting “things” but have not set my sites on the Savior and following Him, my life really lacks vision. It becomes greedy and selfish. But when I focus on Christ and how He lived and how I can follow His example, then things seem to change for me. For example, I love to travel because I love to meet people from all over the world. I love learning about new cultures and lives. And what I love most is to see how, no matter where I go in the world, there are really good people who are basically trying to live good lives and love their families. When I want to travel for myself, I don’t get as much out of my trips. So one thing I try to do when I travel is see if there is any good I can do when I go. I always try to find a church to attend if I am traveling on Sunday. Then I try to contact someone in that church and see if there is anything we can do for them when we come. We have been able to bring clothing, scriptures, and do humanitarian projects on some of our trips because of that. It’s a very simple thing, but it brings so much joy AND it helps me to meet the people and get to know them. I have developed some great friendships with many of these people.

So have a vision. Have a dream. Have a goal. But keep Christ as your main goal and focus, then all the others will fall into place. One way to keep Christ in focus is that we live the commandments and laws. When we do this, we can reach our goals, but do it correctly. The last line in Proverbs 29:18 says, “but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” When we have a vision and we live the commandments, we will truly be happy.

Got vision? You bet!

1/14/12

Granddaughter’s Day at the Dentist

I received a call the other day from my daughter. The conversation went something like this:

“Mom?”

“Yeah?”

“You need to talk to your granddaughter! We’re at the dentist and she’s pitching a fit and I need you to calm her down.”

“Ok….” I said, chuckling to myself.

“I’m liking this role…” I think in my mind.

Princess P gets on the phone….

“Hey sweetie!! How are you? Are you having a great day?” I ask.

I heard some low grumbles on the other end.

“Have you been playing with your baby dolls?…..”

“My mom’s in TROUBLE!”

“You’re mom’s in trouble? How come?” (I’m trying not to laugh too hard.)

“She’s fighting me!!””

I start cracking up and my daughter says, “we have to go. They’re here.”

Still laughing over that conversation.

One Shoe, Two Shoe, Orange Shoe, Blue Shoe

Yep, me and Dr. Suess…we’ve got it figured out!!

I’m confessing here….knowing that this could cause great embarrassment on my part, but I’m willing to share this little piece of my funny day.

I was getting ready for work. I decided to wear my fushia pink shirt with my sky blue scarf (like the one I was wearing in my family picture). I grabbed big blue hoop earrings that matched my scarf and went to grab my shoes. By shoes, I mean flip flops. I have about one of every color of flip flops. They are the shoes I love to wear all the time. Easy on, easy off. Not constricting. Variety of colors, etc etc. So this particular morning, I decided to wear my blue flip flops that matched my outfit. They are stacked in my closet like so:

As you can see, they are kind of tucked under my shirts. So I bent down to find the blue ones, slid my right foot in and then, while putting my earrings in (you can all relate to this, right, girls?) I slid my left foot in the other shoe.

I grabbed all my stuff and raced off to work.

I had been at work for about an hour or so when I needed to get up and grab some copies off the copy machine. I usually slide my feet in and out of my shoes while sitting down, so I looked under the desk to slide my feet in and to my wonder and astonishment, there sat one ORANGE and one BLUE flip flop.

Stunned at my fashion ability, I hollered, “OH….MY….. GOSH!!” Then I started laughing and wondering how in the heck I could manage to go for about 2 hours never looking down at my feet and noticing what I had done BEFORE I left the house.

In utter amazement and still cracking up at myself. I slipped my shoes on and walked in to my husband’s office and stood there. He looked at me and I pointed at my feet which looked about like this:

He put his head in his hands and shook it back and forth, rolling his eyes, and said, “Well I guess it’s a good thing you can laugh at yourself!”

“Well, It’s hysterical!” I said. I mean, if you don’t laugh about it, then what do you do? Sit and pout and cry and be embarrassed? Really, who will know? Unless you post it on facebook and your blog, right? ;o)

Well, I went back about my business, still giggling and yes, I posted a note on facebook and then adjusted my schedule to NOT stop at the grocery store on the way home, cuz THAT would be embarrassing!

While I was sitting at my desk, our good friend Danny P came in. He is a super nice guy! The first thing he said to me was, “Hey, those are nice earrings! I like those!” I was laughing because they are HUGE blue things that my hubby hates because they

A: have color

B: are big

C: someone may “notice” them.

[Insert information here: MP (my hubby) does not like color. Ok, he likes color, he just doesn’t like to WEAR color. He’s a blue/gray/brown plain, simple, not-standout-ish kind of a guy and is embarrassed when I wear any colors (especially bright ones) because it will make you stand out and people will look at you. I’m ok with wearing color now that I’ve been studying Dressing Your Truth and now I know that I like to wear color and it’s okay and he doesn’t like to wear color and it’s okay. I’m at peace. He still struggles. ;o)]

So, when Danny noticed my earrings, I was kind of chuckling that I would get a compliment on them–especially when I couldn’t even get my shoes to match. MP was walking up to the desk as he heard the compliment and said, “If you like her earrings, you should see her shoes!” Yes, he ratted me out. Laughing, I showed Danny my shoes and he said, “Hey’ I’ve done that before!! I ‘ve worn two different Sunday shoes to church!” We got a good laugh at that. Only because, yes, I’ve done that before, too,– only they were both white and both pumps and you could only tell by a slight color variation. But Orange and Blue are a whole different story.

It got slightly funnier (I know that ‘s not a real word, but it works for me), when another man came in a bit later when MP was gone. He said, “I really like those colors together! That blue and pink are a great combination! When I was playing softball and was in charge of the uniforms , I ordered a red with that sky blue color. Everyone thought it was going to look ugly, but they were sharp looking! Oh, and I like the way your makeup matches your outfit!”

Now it was really funny. First of all, when do guys even notice color, let alone makeup? I thanked him and told him he was the most observant man I knew and that someone raised him well. He said it was his mom. ;o) I couldn’t help but think how great it would have been if MP had been here to hear that compliment. It was still funny because while I was receiving the compliemnt, I couldn’t help but think that my shoes weren’t matching.

It still cracks me up.

And yes, I do like to match my makeup colors to my outfit colors. It’s one of my quirks….kind of like flip flops.

You will be glad to know that I have looked down at my feet EVERY time I have left the house since that day. I match now. And I am at peace with color.

Grocery Store Saga– guns and jerky

Can any of you actually stand to read another round of “As the Webster’s Turn?” Some days I think I am on this merry-go-round that won’t quit and I just want to yell, “STOP THE WORLD! I NEED TO GET OFF!” Maybe if I hollered “OR I’M GOING TO PUKE!” someone would listen…..but here I still sit with 5 – six foot tall mounds of laundry, and the only thing that loves me enough to cling to me is cellulite and a three year old! And since I am so full of “love” (read—cellulite) right now my mid-life crisis body and I would like to share our week with you!

Monday—I can hear all of you saying right now “cleaned the house.” And you are right!!! However, I did go to the grocery store, too. My record is getting better, too! I almost got OUT of the store with out the two littles causing a major ruckus. I was in the check out line!!! Almost out of the store!!! BJ Dude was being good and helping me unload the food. He was holding jerky in his hand that was his “treat” for being good in the store. Cinco’s treat had already gone through and he started to panic that BJ Dude wasn’t going to put his jerky on the belt, so he grabbed the jerky out of BJ Dude’s hand to put in on the counter when BJ Dude all but tackled him and choked him to get it back. So Cinco took the $1 plastic machine gun that was his “treat” and whacked BJ Dude over the head with it—all the while screaming at each other.

Fortunately, only two or three checkers, two or three baggers, and the people behind me in the checkout line noticed and commented on the event—that was after their oooh’s and ooooo’s and oowww’s.

This particular moment is the double-edged sword of motherdom! You don’t know if you’re with the “that kid needs a good spanking” group or the “if she lays a hand on that kid I’m calling Social Services” group.

It’s at those precious moments that you feel like there’s a big neon light over your head with an arrow pointing down at you flashing in hot pink neon “BAD MOM!”

Resisting the urge to jerk them both up by the seat of their pants and kick their little butts through the door for embarrassing me like that, I grabbed Cinco firmly by the arm and with that clenched teeth smile “whispered” something to the effect that he was a dead man when we got home. I tried to rub BJ Dude’s head and get that stupid jerky scanned and run out of the store. I kept waiting for the announcement over the intercom “Code Black and Blue on checkout 5!” Of course, the bagger was an older man who was so kind to help me all the way to the car. (The young kids never want to help.) He did offer some kind of words but I was caught between sheer anger and embarrassment.

I ranted and raved all the way home in the car. Trying to explain to a three year old how much trouble he’s in is not very effective, in case any of you were wondering. By the time I got home and was going to throw Cinco’s fanny in his room. He kept saying, “but I told BJ Dude I was sorry.” (Which he actually did while I was ranting in the car) And, of course, BJ Dude had accepted the apology. These two had resolved the problem before I entered the driveway.

Which is the second problem of motherdom—do you throw them in their room or melt like a popsicle because they were so nice to each other for 5 minutes? There are just no books on these kinds of scenarios. I think I still made Cinco have a little room time, but it’s true, I’m a marshmallow. Plus I had all those groceries to unload. Written 1/18/04